My Adult-Only Escape on the Virgin Voyages Valiant Lady

Intro - Living a Dream While Awake

In the bastardized travel industry of consumerism there are cruises, and then there are voyages. My recent escapade aboard the Valiant Lady of Virgin Voyages falls firmly into the latter category.

As we docked in picturesque ports such as Portofino, Ajaccio, and Ibiza, I found solace in the embrace of foreign shores. Yet, it was always with a hint of anticipation that I returned to the Valiant Lady—a floating oasis where every desire was catered to with utmost care.

A journey through the storied waters of the Mediterranean, dubbed "The Irresistible Med," proved to be a tapestry woven with threads of adventure, indulgence, and an escape from the mundane.

Much like living a dream while awake.

As I stepped aboard the Valiant Lady, the excitement was palpable, and I was eager to dive into the plethora of experiences promised by Virgin Voyages. From the moment I set foot on the deck, I was enveloped in a world of luxury, adventure, and culinary delights.

Adults-Only Cruise: A Symphony of Energy

Setting sail from the vibrant port city of Barcelona, Spain, my senses were immediately captivated by the promise of the unknown. As the Valiant Lady carved her graceful path through the beautiful waters, I found myself in a place devoid of children—a revelation that sparked a sigh of relief and a sense of freedom. I love the kids, but this cruise ain’t for them. If you got those, you might want to look into Royal Caribbean, or better yet Disney. This was a playground for adults, a sanctuary where debauchery reigned supreme and inhibitions were but fleeting whispers in the salty breeze.

But let us not stray too far from the epicenter of this floating utopia—the ship herself. The Valiant Lady was not merely a vessel; she was a symphony of luxury and decadence, her every nook and cranny an invitation to indulge. From the culinary weirdness of the Test Kitchen and the savory deliciousness of a fantastic Italian restaurant, to the intoxicating allure of the onboard casino and club, there was no shortage of delights to excavate the civil obedience out of the ruins of polite society.

Gastronomic Remix: The Best Restaurants on the Ship

One of the highlights of my voyage was undoubtedly the gastronomic journey offered by the ship's array of restaurants.

Pink Agave beckoned with its vibrant atmosphere and tantalizing flavors inspired by Mexico's rich culinary heritage. As I indulged in dishes that transcended the ordinary taco, I was transported to the lively streets of Mexico City, where each bite was a celebration of bold spices and fresh ingredients. And with the largest selection of tequila and mezcal at sea, the evening unfolded into a fiesta of flavors and dancing under the stars.

For those craving a taste of Korean cuisine, Gunbae proved to be a lively hotspot where hands-on meat grilling and soju drinking took center stage. From the moment we sat down, we were greeted with a complimentary shot of soju and immersed in a Korean drinking game that set the tone for a night of culinary exploration and camaraderie.

Meanwhile, Extra Virgin offered a taste of Italy with its irresistible Italian fare. From shared antipasti to fresh pasta, each dish was a testament to the rich culinary traditions of Italy. And with homemade gelato from the Affogato cart and traditional Italian aperitivos, every meal was a feast for the senses.

But perhaps the most innovative dining experience was found at The Test Kitchen, where chef-driven tasting menus pushed the boundaries of culinary creativity. Presented as an ingredient list, each dish was a masterpiece of innovation, with flavors and techniques that captivated the palate and inspired the imagination. And with experiential classes like Mixology and coffee labs, the Test Kitchen was a playground for culinary enthusiasts eager to explore new tastes and techniques.

The B-Side: Activities to Balancing Wellness while Cruising

Of course, no voyage would be complete without a focus on health and wellness, and the Valiant Lady delivered in spades.

The B-Complex offered state-of-the-art fitness facilities, including a multipurpose fitness studio and a cycling studio with dramatic views to keep us motivated.

Hennessy & Bubbly: The Alcohol Package

Ah but who really goes on this type of trip to be healthy? I tried but my liver got the most workouts trying to detoxify the beautiful poisons I keep pouring down my belly. I’m normally health conscious but it was my work vaycay. I wanted to get lit and let me tell you, I was a proverbial Christmas tree. The libations truly stole the show.

The Valiant Lady was not merely a vessel; she was a symphony of luxury and decadence, her every nook and cranny an invitation to indulge.

Blessed with an obscene amount of credit tethered to my room key/bracelet, I embarked upon a spirited journey through the seas of inebriation. That’s what they should’ve called this ship, by the way. Hangovers be damned, for each sunrise brought with it a renewed sense of euphoria, tinged with the bittersweet realization that the previous night's revelries were but a prelude to the day's adventures. It was intense. And what adventures they were.

As we docked in picturesque ports such as Portofino, Ajaccio, and Ibiza, I found solace in the embrace of foreign shores. Yet, it was always with a hint of anticipation that I returned to the Valiant Lady—a floating oasis where every desire was catered to with utmost care.

Nightlife on the Ship: PJs to Punk Rock Parties

As the sun set over the horizon, the ship came alive with a vibrant array of entertainment options. From immersive celebrations like Scarlet Night, complete with pop-up circus performances and live music, to themed events like the PJ Party, where comfort was the name of the game, there was never a dull moment aboard the Valiant Lady.

And when the night called for something a little more upscale, The Manor beckoned with its two-story, three-bar space inspired by a '70s punk vibe. With groundbreaking shows and a moody atmosphere, it was the perfect place to see and be seen.

But perhaps the most unforgettable experience was found in The Red Room, a larger-than-life entertainment space that served as a multifunction theater, nightclub, and more. With performances that pushed the boundaries of both technology and theater, it was a feast for the senses and a fitting finale to an unforgettable voyage aboard the Valiant Lady.

Finding Your Posse on the High Seas

Of course, no tale of high seas escapades would be complete without mention of the colorful cast of characters that populated this floating wonderland. From fellow travelers seeking respite from the rigors of everyday life to the occasional proposition from amiable strangers, the social tapestry aboard the Valiant Lady was as rich and diverse as the Mediterranean itself.

Outro: The Journey Begins

But amidst the cacophony of laughter and clinking glasses, there was a quiet moment of reflection—a realization that this, indeed, was the stuff of dreams. For in the embrace of the Valiant Lady, I found not only adventure but a fleeting glimpse of paradise—an experience that transcended the bounds of mere travel and ascended to the realm of legend. In other words no other vacation came close to the experience and what a fantastic first trip across the pond.